From The Heart

I remember watching a Doordarshan news reader , bereft of any emotion , reading out in Hindi “ladki ka naam Nirasha , kud 140 cms. , umar 14 saal , rang gehuaan
(wheatish) …”

Nirasha ? …I wondered .No , it could’nt be ….Who would name their child that! With a name like Nirasha that reeked of negativity it was not hard to see why the girl was missing …She must have simply run away!

That was back in 1987. I am now 30 years young .Healthy and yes , happy. You could also say ‘content’ and ‘normal’. That is considering that I am a person with Down’s Syndrome!

I was born to loving parents at a village hospital in Punjab. I can imagine visitors cooing ,
“ Kitna pyaara baccha hai…kitna gora hai…bilkul baap par gaya hai….par iski aankhen thodi alag hain, choti si , bilkul chini (Chinese) jaisi. Zaroor apne Ma aur Baap ka naam roshan karega”. Little did my folks realize that my ‘Mongoloid’ features were because of my condition.

My mother would put kohl around my eyes , telling me that it made them look bigger.
I grew up ‘slowly’ .My milestones were delayed .I sat up late , walked late , with unsteady steps. When I turned four , my parents decided to consult a Doctor. What hit them next must have been devastating. I was A Special Child ! I needed HELP!

My mother howled , my father wept, I did not understand why. I had neither misbehaved nor disobeyed my elders. Had I been naughty? I did’nt know. Wasn’t every child a ‘special child/ Then why were the people I loved most crying so bitterly. I tried asking them in my own way, by pulling my mother’s dupatta , sitting on my father’s lap , wiping his tears with my little stubby hands. It only made matters worse. They cried even more. I had failed to stop them crying .I had disappointed them.

I joined a Special School. My teachers loved me .I made some friends . But many would’nt talk to me . They only seemed interested in jumping around and creating a racket. What patience my teachers had. Hats off to them !

How I loved my school. I would splash around in the pool , build sand castles, learn how to brush my teeth , button my shirt among other things. I also discovered a triangular object , which was popularly called ‘SAMOSA’ …it was my favourite food!

Then , one day , the Principal & my teacher called my parents and told them that I needed to go to a ‘normal’ school , as I was coping well. My parents were ecstatic and I was happy for them. But I did’nt want to leave my ‘special’ school .It was so much fun. I managed to hide my disappointment.

At my ‘normal’ school , my teacher helped me with my programme .There were so many children in my class. Though some of them would make fun of me and push me , most tolerated me .

Time went by and we all grew older.Now my pold friends ..yes , I actually had friends …began to understand me and loved me for the person that I was. I was happy again.

School days passé by .I watched the aeroplanes that flew over my home and wanted to become a pilot. But I was soon disappointed , as my marks and my medical condition put paid to my dream. I joined a college and began assisting my father in the family business.
I had learnt a nit of functional mathematics at school , which helped me handle the shop. My parents were happy and I was happy for them.

Soon , my friends started drifting away , some for work to cities far away and some into matrimony. We did;nt have time for each other any more .How I yearn for those happy old days! I took to painting and writing ( though I need help ) to fill the void in me. I was happy again.

Today , life goes on. Disappointments are a part of life , but so are opportunities! After all , when God closes one door , he opens another. My parents are proud of me and not disappointed with me . They have stood by me through it all. I am happy to see them smile.

Coming back to where I started , how could anyone have named their child NIRASHA!
The great negative force that accompanies the word could have sunk the most gifted child. I bear the testimony to the strengths of positive forces. The great positives manifest in the belief of my parents , the dedication of my teachers , who empowered me and my exposure to the ‘normal’ environment are what allowed me to transform from a ‘special’ person to a happy , ‘normal’ person like you.


Monika Srivastava
PRINCIPAL & OCCUPATIONAL THERAPIST